this giant feeling of .. nothing.

outside i'm smiling, but on the inside i'm feeling empty. just .. empty. i'm never happy, i'mnever sad. i'm just really tired, all the time. it's almost like i couldn't have emotions, except for this giant feeling of .. nothing. i don't want to leave my bedroom, i don't want to get out and have fun. i just want to sleep .. forever. i don't unterstand what's going on with me. i think i need help, but i don't even know what's my problem in first place.

dead but breathing.

 i'd give anything to feel alive again.

i tried.

 

I    TRIED     I    TRIED
I    TRIED     I    TRIED
I    TRIED     I    TRIED

I     TRIED    I    TRIED

I'M TIRED     I'M TIRED

how much it hurts.

i want to die basically every day. i don't care about anything. ifeel like i'm beeing smothered by almost everyone and i want a way out but i can't really see one. 

i'm tired of being fucked up.

rette mich.

 

 bring mich heim, führ mich nach hause. hörst du mich schreien? ich will hier weg, ich muss nach vorn. 

bitte, hol mich hier raus. bitte, rette mich. komm, rette mich. rette mich vor mir selbst ..

you won't understand.

if you haven't sat in the corner of your bedroom, crying so hard that your body starts to ache, then you won't truly understand. if you have never screamed, begging for it to be over, you won't truly understand. if you have never prayed to gof that you don't wake up in the morning, then you won't truly understand. if you have never felt like nothing was worth living for, you won't truly understand. you can read about it, watch movies about it, listen songs about it.. but unless you've felt it, you will never truly understand.

damn, damn.

you're always there, you're everywhere, but right now i wish you were here ..

 

you keep losing.

stop falling. stop listening. stop texting back. stop worrying. stop getting your hopes up. stop telling 

yourself this one's different. you've heard this story times and times before and you know hotw it ends. 

- he's playing that game you keep losing.

perfect.

i'm never gonna be good enough for you, can't pretend that i'm all right ..

maybe someday.

maybe someday you and i will be together. maybe someday you and i will find forever ..